Day 2 of School being out.

My Feelings: USELESS

The weather hasn't been the best, typical English Summer hey!.

Yesterday i promised the Kids we can go to the park today, then today came and my pain is still bad.

This is when my mood goes way down. 

Why am i like this? 

What did i do to be given pain like this? 

My energy is almost depleted, i am on the sofa downstairs with my notebook, my legs are aching so bad, its in my bones i'm sure! My ankles and wrists feel splintered when i move, my neck and shoulders are no better than my legs. WHY?!

My memory isn't the best at the moment so i'm going to refer back to this and write it in my little note book (yes another notebook lol) for my CBT appointment as all i can tell them is I've felt down but then cant put into words why, its like my mind isn't anywhere!

At the moment the kids are playing Mine craft on the Xbox, i feel like a failure that they're 'stuck in', the TV is basically looking after them today, you know when you call people for sticking their kids in front of the TV all day, i'm that today and i couldn't feel any worse about it.

So yeh, this is a mum with Fibromyalgia, the raw deal!!

I'm not sure how other parents cope with Fibro and children at home when they're in a flare, i know online like Facebook people make out they are doing amazing things and even though behind closed doors after taking numerous pictures of their child baking, the house is a mess, the children are running around screaming and the mum is on the sofa pulling her hair out...i want to see THEM pictures..but that's not what i see and its why i feel so bad, but to be honest i'm not posting pictures of today, or updating a status about today, which really i should do and im pretty sure other mothers would appreciate the raw motherhood updates rather than the " Amazing day out at the zoo!" pictures.

How do other Fibro parents cope the best during the holidays? Do you also have days like this? 

Pretty Lightening and Booms!

Thursday night-Friday morning was the big showdown in the sky! Me and the hubby had settled down to watch a film in bed, then out of nowhere...FLASH and BOOM!

It's been a while since the sky brought us Mother Natures bright and loud Orchestra AKA, Thunder and Lightening...Let's just say our film was very welcomingly interrupted, as no sooner has it started i was sat on the window sill trying to get a shot on my camera phone of a magical slither of light, 

I was always a dancing in the rain kind of girl when i was younger, i still am if it wasn't for the 'You know what' getting in the way of being saturated with cool rain on a warm night. I've got to say, the next day the humidity had lifted and i'm happy to report im feeling a bit better,

enough to get some mobility back.

I can no longer say, " I cant wait for Summer, its when im at my best!", ahhh well :)

That night after tea i took my 2 boys over the fields for a walk, we blew bubbles on the path surrounded by green, breathtaking trees and grassland, we played with a Frisbee in the long waist high grass, seeing who could find it first with the boys falling all over the place and laughing, i also watched them play hide and seek in the grass, it was the most perfect night ive ever had, nothing got in the way of its perfection, my pain was controlled, the sun was shining, just me and the two loves of my life...they are my moon and stars :) xx

My Fibromyalgia symptoms

So, i recently saw a Doctor in the Pain clinic, he was so lovely even though i was useless due to brain fog and my emotions being all over the place...i'm very sure after i left he got some whisky out of the drawer with a shot glass but proceeded to drink straight from the bottle, but i cant speculate.

Before i went to the appointment i bought a notebook to write everything in, which is why writing this list will be a lot easier than doing it from the top of my head! In the book its 4 pages long so hopefully it wont seem so long on here...if it is i apologize and i give permission for you to grab the whisky out ;) .

• All over pain/ muscle pain.

         Deep aching, dull, throbbing in my legs, arms, shoulders, back, neck and feet.

         Pain after being active and the day after, when the weather changes, temperature drops or bad              weather after it being OK, the pain can also flare with no warning that i know of, my newest                trigger is humidity after 5 years of pain.

     
  Pain all day but manageable, the above triggers worsen it which is my flare, these can last between a day to a few weeks, i take Co-codamol x2 30/500 maximum 4x a day, Sometimes i alternate it with Tramadol 50mg for a next dose when my pain is bad  as im taking Co-codamol more frequent, it stops working as good! When this happens the Co-codamol does not last, the maximum it lasts is 2 hours after taking it, but it takes 1 hour to start working so i only get 1 hour relief,

• Temperature changes.

      I wear thermals in colder weather, i use Tubi grip bandages on my wrists and ankles and on my lower legs for calf muscle pain, The pain i get get in my ankles, wrists and knees are a sprained feeling, like it cant hold any of my weight, this causes me to struggle walking when iv'e either got out of bed of from being sat down.

• Stiffness.

      In the morning, getting out of bed causes me to stumble a bit due to stiffness in my legs and the sprained feeling in my ankles, that my feet cant hold my body weight. This also occurs after sitting.

• Tiredness and fatigue.

      This occurs through the day, whole body tiredness where i just feel exhausted, not being able to make decisions and being quite hazy. I don't wake up refreshed.

• sleep problems.

      Mostly due to the pain, i take Amitriptilyn 25mg at night which has recently been helping me fall to sleep but sleep is still broken, i had it upped to 35mg to help with anxiety but as we have found out anything over 25mg causes me to wake up with a headache. The problem with this happening is that i cannot take Tramadol or Codeine with a headache or it turns it into a full blown migraine, so i have to take Ibuprofen or/and Paracetamol  until my headache has subsided which i cannot keep dealing with as i have young children and need to be able to be mobile for them. Also Tramadol affects my sleep if taken after 5pm.

• Anxiety and Depession.

      I am currently having CBT, i have only started suffering since my Thyroidectomy in 2011 where the operation didn't go to plan and i woke up with very low calcium levels and it is now a lifelong illness....along with Fibromyalgia and this extra condition it has become a bit to much on my shoulders where i now have low moods a lot and anxiety.

• Skin pain.

      Sometimes flares up without a trigger, feels sensitive to touch like its burned or raw, this unables me to wear certain clothing when it happens as it feels like its scratching and taking a layer of skin off!

• Things i have tried or what i do.

      I wear thermal leggings and tops with temperature changes, i use rice packs heated up for my neck, shoulders, behind my knees, inner elbows and legs. I have also bought heat pads for these areas too and wear them under my thermal leggings or normal leggings when i'm on the go. I use muscle rubs and wear Ugg boots the majority of the time, possibly 10 months of the year!

      In the past i have tried dietary changes, dairy free ( difficult with Hypocalcemia), gluten free, cutting down on sugars, diets which contain only fresh Organic food.

• Medication
• Thyroxine
• Amitriptilyn
• Calcium Carbonate
• Vitamin D, Rocaltrol
• Tramadol
• Codeine
• Paracetamol
• Diclophenac

What strategies do you have which gets you through them painful days? What would you recommend doing which may help myself or other readers? Please let us know in the comment box below :) xx

Happy Flare Day!!

The Mission: Get through the day!

Today is...different, my Fibro pain is usually very familiar, deep muscle pain which burns when i move my arms, legs, neck etc, for the past 5 years it has always been just that, among other things ( I will write my symptoms in a separate post).

I get flare ups mostly in Winter, it is when my pain really floors me. This Summer so far has been, how do i put it...Interesting! I am in the UK, apart from having a warm week it has also been very humid. I had no idea that the humidity can affect Chronic pain conditions as well as it can in the colder months, it has never affected me...up until now!

 This weeks 'new' pain, like i mentioned my usual pain is an aching, burning pain, this week my muscles, EVERY muscle sorry, has felt bruised and hot inside, i cant lift my arms up, move my shoulders, my bum cheeks hurt (that's a very new one!), down the side of my hips, my legs including my shins and i cant even raise my toes as it hurts the front part of my ankle.....eurghhh is the word which is favorable for everything today ha ha.

My body: " Happy Wednesday! If you are thinking of moving your neck, shoulders, arms, wrists, hips, legs, feet and to not have a head ache, then i shall advise you to come back on Thursday!"

Sadly being a mum of two with a partner who works full time, the world doesn't stop at times like this..a girl can only dream right, wheres Bernard's watch when you need one? ha ha, Kids need cleaning and dressing, breakfasts and lunches need making and the dreaded school run ( on foot, as the learning to drive still hasn't worked out quite so well yet) needs completing, so the plan of action....shove something down my throat, anything to line my stomach which is usually bread, have my Gabapentin, Codeine, Paracetamol and Diclophanc, fill my flask with Tea, milk and 3 sugars and ill be on my way...obviously getting myself dressed too, just in case you thought i was leaving the house in nothing but my under crackers ha ha.

Overall, its been a bad day, but iv'e  fought through it! I have totally accepted i will have these conditions for life, and ill have some bad days and not so bad days, maybe the odd good day thrown in for a bit of optimism! Days like today b

ecome more bearable by having so many interests to keep my mind focused on something other than pain, this week it has been my family tree. After 4 years i have become a whizz at Census snooping and record finding, it doesn't half pass the time!!

In my next post i will be sharing my very own, personal, symptoms. I like reading what other people are battling with and when i see something i relate to i don't feel as alone in this! So i hope it does help you guys!

If you've enjoyed this post and would like to post any of your own coping techniques of a flare up which may help myself or other readers, please feel free id be very grateful :) xx